The truth about being present.
I was sitting in bed listening to a podcast. An interesting one at that; Shane Perrish’s The Knowledge Project , with guest Naval Ravikant. Nonetheless, as many people do, I was worrying about an upcoming deadline for school. In my mind thinking about how I would solve the problem, or the consequences of if I didn't. And then Naval said something that made me pause, made me wonder.
“Be present above all else”
What did he mean? Be present?
Human beings, or at least me, have the tendency to be futurists. We plan for the future, for 2 steps ahead. And that has brought us pretty far in the way that we think, do and interact. But, as we begin to grow into an age of deadlines, due dates and uncertain futures, we sometimes live in the future.
Living in the future
No, I don’t mean living in an alternate universe like The Jetsons or some apocalyptic timeline (though with this virus sometimes it may seem like it). What I mean is the idea of constantly thinking about the future rather than the now. Really, as a tendency, we begin to live in our thoughts, which are 90% of the time polar opposite of reality. By continuously thinking and living in your thoughts you miss out on reality.
Bring it back to my example up the top. I’m listening to this podcast, but am I really? To be honest, most of my thoughts are on something that isn’t happening right now, and something that might not even happen. And, when I sit down to work on that project, I know for sure, that the only thing on my mind is the deadline. I’m screwing up by
- Missing the podcast
- Over evaluating the project
- Stressing about the project
- Not even thinking about the actual work but the consequences of not doing an action that I’m going to do
- Making up a non-existent reality in my head, that is most likely the farthest from the actual possible consequences of handing in a late project.
Really, the fact of the matter is, we are constantly drifting into the state of future thinking, and when we live in that not existing reality, we miss what we are doing in the present.
Living in the Present
As we begin to live in the alternate dimension that is our mind, we drift away from our current lives, selves, and tasks, the joy and emotion of those tasks replaced by the void of future tasks, and the emotions you believe will be associated with them. Understanding when you begin to drift off into this void is key in living in the present.
If we live in the present we are able to live our lives. Our actual lives. Not the fantasies or nightmares that we constantly put ourselves in, but the true emotions that come with the adventures of life. If I went skydiving, but while I was doing that I imagined I was on a beach, wouldn’t you say I wasted that skydiving session? The same goes for life. The more we think about, and live in the non-existent future reality, we miss what's in front of us, our lives. By bringing ourselves to the actions that we do, and things we need to do, we experience them to the fullest, but also handle them better. Instead, of worrying about stuff in the future, by tackling what needs to be done now we can, effectively take action in our present lives, and therefore experience those actions, rather than thinking about something that hasn’t happened yet.
How Stress Ties into This
A lot of times stress is the byproduct of not being present. When you are always thinking about things in the future, you worry about them. As we start to do this constantly, the stress from the emotional torment we put ourselves in strains us, stresses us. A good example is doing a project. While actually working on the project, you aren’t afraid of what you are doing currently, but rather the deadline that's coming up. This idea of worrying about future scenarios is mentally crippling as it inhibits you from actually taking action and putting 100% of our effort into life, and rather we put most of our time worrying about an outcome that hasn’t happen yet. Being stressed really just means being constantly worried, and for most of us our worries are caused by living in the future.
How to be present
Being present is always a different story for each of us. For me:
1. Pay attention to your thoughts.
Naval brought up an interesting idea in his episode of the podcast, in which he state that humans have a ‘monkey mind’. Basically what this means is our thoughts are all over the place, and for many of us never focused on the task, but rather distracted by other random things, usually that are not related to the present. For me, in order to stay away from monkey mind, or mm, I constantly try to understand and process my thoughts. This may sound counterintuitive. Wouldn’t we just be sloths, taking hours to think. Actually, be processing what you think, you can get rid of all those random and usually negative thoughts, by actively seeking positive and stimulating ones. If you effectively try to use your brain for the things you actually want done, then you can do them without wasting time on those ‘non present’ or monkey mind thoughts.
2. Do things!
Tying your thoughts to reality is the only way to be present. Actionable quests and tasks give you a reason not to think about the future, and rather focus or get into a ‘flow state’; effectively the state in which you are the most present, completely enveloped in the current thing you do. By having a list of actions to do, you train your brain to focus on things in front of you, rather than above you. By keeping yourself busy with hobbies, friends, and family you can alleviate stress and increase your focus on the thoughts in the present.
3. Make Relationships
Keeping yourself in the moment means talking to somebody about your thoughts but also having stimulating discussions that keep you thinking productively about the discussions that you have in the present. By having people to talk to and have bonds, you have a reason and motivation to be present in how you live your life, and prioritize those meaning full relationships, again, another reason to be present in life.
4. Write Stuff Down
Journal! Writing down your thoughts keeps us in touch with what we think daily. Many times our thoughts pass by & through us, but we never fully understand them. As we begin to journal and keep track of our thoughts we can be in touch with how we think, and slowly we begin to refine our thought process as we slowly start to understand why and what we think. It also helps us be mindful in how we convey and understand our thoughts and emotions. As we begin to be mindful of our thoughts, we can also be mindful in how we think.
5. Create a reminder. Being present can be really difficult and sometimes I need some sort of motivation or reminder to remember. Having a phone reminder or a sticky note that just reminds us to be present, is huge in keeping a constant reminder to be in the moment.
What does this mean?
If we can be mindful and present in life we have the opportunity to live it. The truth is, the future is in the future, but the present is now. As long as we keep our heads in the clouds, looking for answers of problems that haven’t happened yet, we will never experience the problems, experiences, opportunities, and moments in our lives. Being here is the only way to not to through life waiting for the next thing. Do what is important now.
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” — Buddha
